Skip to main content

Keeping it Clean (Posted August 29, 2016)

At the age of three, my brother was outside one afternoon building a sandcastle and fielding bids from developers to subdivide it into condos. In the midst of this flurry of activity, he spied the family cat, Sam, from the corner of his eye and noticed that the Siamese was in need of cleaning. (How he determined this “need” is still an open debate at family gatherings.) He scooped up the filthy feline beneath his arm and started toward the house. (Most cats choose the time and place that they’ll allow a human to pick them up, and this is usually done with both arms cradling them. So, being hooked under the midsection with a small and somewhat-less-sure arm was surely an affront to this cat’s dignity.) My brother entered the house and made for the bathroom.

Kicking open the bathroom door, he noticed the air was warm and steamy – someone had already run a bath. Happy day! So, he slid open the glass door on the bath enclosure and discovered my dad was already in the water with soap bubbles floating on the surface – someone to whom my brother could delegate the cleaning chore and get back to the sandcastle and developers! Gathering his wits about him, my dad greeted my brother and asked if there was something he needed. My brother simply looked at him, cat still squirming to get free from his captor’s devilishly tenacious grip, and said, “Sam needs a bath.” Before this could register in my dad’s brain, my brother flung the helpless feline into the water with my dad and summarily closed the glass door.

This little family vignette touches upon a number of issues: real estate development, early childhood education, animal rights, hygiene, the fact most grown men won’t admit to indulging themselves in the quiet and therapeutic pleasure of soaking in a tub – my dad will probably kill me for telling this story – and the need to have a fully stocked first-aid kit readily available when you have small children around. However, the most interesting thing about this story is what it tells you about yourself in the real estate process.

1.  Concern for the cat: If your thoughts went immediately to what became of the cat after being tossed into the tub with a naked man, you tend to be someone who’s attracted to the purchase side of things; you want to resolve the situation quickly and with the best possible outcome.
2.  Concern for the son: If your thoughts went immediately to what became of the boy, you tend to be someone who’s attracted to the listing/sale side of things; you want it off your hands as soon as possible and want the payoff.
3.  Concern for the dad: For those precious few who found immediate concern for the dad, you tend to be a loan officer – someone neither the cat nor the son thought much about before everything hit the water but looked to him as the savior of their needs. 
4.  Concern for who has to clean all this up: Obviously, anyone who made the natural leap to the mess the chaos would leave behind is in title and escrow. 

With all that said with tongue firmly planted in cheek, there really is a simple but very important lesson to be learned here.  When everyone does their job properly – and doesn’t try to do more than that – the transaction is clean and closes on time.  What you do with the family cat and/or the bathtub after the transaction is closed is completely up to you. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Age-Old Concept Reaping Future Rewards

W hy are social media like Facebook and Instagram so darn popular among real estate and mortgage folks?   Hint: the top reason might be an endless supply of memes, cat videos, and the chance to be snarky, but the other reason runs a VERY CLOSE second.   Give up?   Answer:   They’re free – and they really help even the playing field by enabling a one-person shop look and market like an organization who employs an army of wordsmiths and graphic artists. This new century is glorious, right?   With that in mind, let me re-introduce you to a centuries-old concept that is equally glorious – and can help IMPROVE the playing field for you, regardless of the size of your team: karma.   On the subject of “free”, I’m not suggesting that you work for free, but when you freely give of yourself and your knowledge, you’ll see a greater payoff, I promise! Recently, an agent came to us with a question: she has a client who is looking to sell his condo.   It...

KNOWING is Half the . . . Problem

If you’ve learned one thing from reading these columns, it’s this: I don’t read a ton of books by or about the French philosopher Descartes or spend large amounts of money traveling the world to view the Masters’ paintings in far-flung museums – my entertainment and sources of knowledge run to the more . . . mundane, if you will.   Well, I’m not about to disappoint.   In the movie Men in Black , the two main characters J & K (played by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, respectively) have recently met and K is trying to recruit J to join the clandestine government agency that monitors aliens on planet Earth.   Agent K has just shown J a lot of things that are hard to believe/explain and urges J to keep them secret.   At this point, J interrupts him, and this piece of dialogue ensues: J: Why the big secret?   People are smart.   They can handle it.   K: A person is smart.   People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you...

Control Your Money, Not Vice Versa

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post very similar to this - in fact, some aspects are identical - but I'm putting a slightly different twist on it to alter the perspective by a tad.   Whenever I meet a real estate investor who likes to take the fix-n-flip approach, I always ask why they go that route rather than subscribe to a buy-n-hold approach.  There are different answers to that question, but they all seem to have a common thread running through all of them: "I need the money to go out and buy another house to flip."  Sure, most people have a limited supply of cash on hand, so that makes sense.  With that said, there are three options EVERY real estate investor should know about - but, usually, they only know about the first one.  Let me set this up: Real-life example: the property in question costs $77,000 to acquire and $18,000 to rehab (total cash put out equals $95,000).  The property then can sell for $135,000.  Ready? Traditional...