Skip to main content

A House Looks Good On You


There are times when I come home from the grocery store, set the bags on the counter, and start unloading the bags’ contents to place them in the pantry, refrigerator, and freezer, and the thought hits me: I just shopped like my parents are out of town for the weekend and they handed me some cash to tide me over until they return on Sunday evening!  Just as I’m on the verge of setting up an intervention for myself, I spy a package of frozen spinach under an opened bag of tater tots, collect my wits about me, and take a moment to calm down.  (There’s not a chance I’m going to come close to thawing out that package of spinach, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Tired of the multiple fad diets being pitched and talked about on the internet and other forms of media, a man took it upon himself to prove he could eat ONLY junk food for a month and lose weight and thirty days later, he had lost eleven pounds!  Now, he didn’t lock himself inside a Dunkin Donuts and eat his way through their entire inventory I understand I’m killing the dream for many of you by saying that, and I’m sorry.  He did, though, eat lots of M&Ms, cupcakes, Oreos, chips, crackers, etc.  In doing so, he made sure his daily intake didn’t exceed 2,000 calories by reading the packaging and following the serving sizes that spelled out the number of calories. 

The scales weren’t the only thing that was affected by this special diet: his bad cholesterol went down, his good cholesterol went up, and he lost two percent body fat.  While his doctor would not recommend such a diet, mainly because losing that much weight in such a short period of time is not optimal, no one can argue with the results and this simple fact: it’s about moderation, and if you burn more calories than you eat, you’re going to lose weight even if your “dietician” is Little Debbie or Hostess. 

Regularly, we get people coming to us for a mortgage who have run the financial equivalent of the diet gauntlet with multiple other lenders and failed.  They’re dejected and wary.  Many of them have gained even more “weight” (more debt, a renewed lease because they couldn’t close and have to keep renting, etc.).  Some are on the verge of giving up entirely and almost dare us to prove we can help them fit into that little black dress of a house. 

Remember, the key to the junk-food gentleman’s success was simple: he read and FOLLOWED the serving-size instructions to assure he was consuming a specific number of calories.  Unlike so many other mortgage companies, we send out a Loan Status Update every Friday to all parties to a transaction to help them know what’s been done (consumed) and what needs to be done so they can FOLLOW those instructions.  When a mortgage company doesn’t keep everyone focused, the equivalent of midnight snacks (shopping for and buying usually on credit new furniture before the home sale closes) and bingeing (adding more and more addendums to the real estate contract) can and will sabotage the process.  Stick with us and when we’re finished, you’ll be leaner (in a good way) and happier we’ll bet a box of Twinkies on it!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Saving Money is Music to Your Ears (Posted January 9, 2017)

For all the “old” people out there, you’ll instantly know the name Daryl Hall.   For those of you who are still on your original set of adult teeth (perhaps because you got your braces off fairly recently), Daryl Hall is a musician (the blonde half of the duo Hall & Oates – the one who DIDN’T have a mustache that looked like it was straight out of an ’ 80s adult film) with a number of albums (albums a re these big, black 12-inch vinyl “platters” that look like a pregnant CD) that have been certified as gold/platinum and hit songs to his credit, some of which he recorded himself and some he wrote for others.   Going back to 2007, he started a show on the internet called Live from Daryl’s House ; in 2011, he took it to cable where it currently airs.   The concept is relatively simple: he has musicians from all genres and eras come to his house to jam with him and his band.   In between songs, they talk about music and memories, and they usually end up eatin...

The Naked Truth About Home Buying

It’s highly likely I’ve already written about this, but I’ll try to make it entertaining at least.   There’s a guy who works in ou r office who suffers from kidney stones – and from what he’s described, “suffers” might even be a little too tame a word for it.   As an aside, though, when you ask him how painful the experience is, he gets an odd smile and says, “It’s the most intense pain I’ve ever experienced, but it’s hard to describe.   I’ve heard a lot of people compare it to the pain a woman experiences while giving birth.   To that, I must say, those people are big, fat liars!   I’ve been in the presence of a woman giving birth, twice, and her pain has to be 100 times worse.   They’re passing the equivalent of a Buick.   I’m passing a pumpkin seed.”   He’s always been a colorful fellow. He’s had this wonderful condition for over a decade now, and the stones make their appearance about every 18 months or so.   Up until recently, ...

The (Missed) Shot Heard 'Round the World (Posted April 11, 2016)

At last year’s ACC Tournament semifinal (basketball) game between Notre Dame and Duke, the halftime entertainment included giving someone an all-expense-paid trip to the game with the chance to take a half-court shot for $1 million.   Scott Park was the lucky winner, and he and his wife made the trip from Virginia Beach to attend the game and for Scott to take the shot.   When the time came, he took the ball in both hands, eyed the basket, ran to the half-court line, and launched the ball into the air with everything he had.   And it sailed . . . t o about the foul line.   Almost immediately, this seemingly epic failure of a grown man to throw an air-filled leather ball just over 45 feet was turned into vines and videos that littered the Internet.   Comments were immediately flowing like “can you believe how bad that shot was” and “why did that dude even try”.   With the virtual anonymity of the Internet, people can be brutal! What these anonym...